Buckle Up, Silly Season Is Commencing!
- The Crow Crew
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Brace yourselves, the Christmas Carnage is about to begin... Despite the big day being over 3 weeks away, there's a blind panic that seems to set in as soon as we get to December.
Being of the neuro-spicey persuasion, that panic seems completely alien to me...
Presents: normally gig tickets (no postage or wrapping involved).
Dinner: it's a roast - I make a pretty decent roast, so no stress required.
Decorations: it's 3 weeks away, there's plenty of time for those (& there's not a lot of point decorating the bar until after the 7th Dec as we have a 10 piece band which will fit better on the stage without a Christmas tree next to them)!...
And the rest is just optional extras that get done if they get done! It won't be the end of the world if my nephews get cash in a Crimbo Card rather than a Lego set, or if I grab a Tesco Christmas pud rather than make one! So I refuse to get drawn into the panic.
Don't get me wrong, despite being an atheist, I actually quite like Christmas. This year, for me at least, it's an opportunity to get some rest, do some baking and arts & crafts if I find time, and (of course), consume copious amounts of food & alcohol! And I can't wait!
But 1st there's Silly Season to get through! That magical time of the year when the idiots descend, with their 'once a year' drinking etiquette, to annoy the absolute whoopsie out of us all! It inspired me to write a poem, I posted on our socials last week...
The Whinge of The Wench: An Ode To Silly Season.
The New Year is creeping near…
Christmas is even sooner.
The most magical time of the year,
Yet it's when I lose all sense of humour.
The 'once a year' drinking massive
In their ghastly festive knitwear,
Makes it hard for me to stay passive,
Or my soul not to sink with despair
"Got any flavoured vodka babes?"
"Do you sell Stella Artois?"
- I don't care what random-arse drink you crave,
Just stop clogging up the bar.
Taking selfies with our “hilarious’ wall hangings
And getting in the way.
"Mate, this ska band are f**king banging,
Do they know any Coldplay?"
- "So have you been here long Hun?
This place is just amazing."
- "Thanks, yeah 2020 is where it all began…"
But I can see her botoxed eyes glazing!
"So do you always do bands?
Just I love a bit of RnB."
Oh you don't have to use your hands,
But just please, SOMEONE KILL ME!
And then the dreaded question…
“You know what you should do is…”
Followed by some inane suggestion,
Like a night of acid jazz and fizz.
Maybe my outrage is silly,
Maybe they're just being nice.
But I wonder if I had a willy,
They'd be so forthcoming with advice.
I actually love a mince pie,
Christmas carols & movies… the lot!
Admittedly, Michael Bubblé makes me twitch in one eye,
(Although that could be from the amount of mulled wine in my teapot)!
So don't get me wrong...
I'm not at all against the festivities.
But when those once a year w⚓s come along,
It just gets right on my t*tties!!!
***
But enough with the moaning/trepidation...!
Here's our Christmas opening hours:
Open Wed-Sun until 21st December (as normal).
Open Xmas Eve 12-6pm.
Closed until 8pm NYE (open for ticket holders)
Closed until Thur 8th December.
During January we will close Monday-Wednesday*
And open as normal Thurs-Sun
(*We will be opening Wednesday 28th Jan from 7pm for a Castle Comedy Special - details TBA).
AND (like last year) we will be closing from 2nd Feb til 25th Feb* to do some general maintenance to the bar and to get some well-earned R&R.
(*The Gazza Records Takeover Festival is still scheduled for 13th Feb for ticket holders).
***
Fancy doing something wonderful this Christmas? Why not come and take part in our GIVING TREE
How it works:
1. Pop into The Crooked Crow Bar this week* and choose a tree-shaped gift tag from our wall
2. Check the back of the tag and see the name and age of a child and the gift they have requested
3. Purchase that gift and attach the tree tag (please don't wrap).
4. Bring the gift to the Crow and hand to bar staff for safekeeping by the 6th December
5. We will deliver to KidsOut when they call in collections
6. KidsOut ensure the gifts get to the children for Christmas
The recipients are children who have escaped domestic violence, being forced to flee their homes quickly and leave all possessions behind, as well as children who are living in the highest areas of deprivation in the country and are living with a disability, serious illness or life-limiting conditions.
*This week we are open:
Wed-Thur 3-11pm.
Fri-Sat 12pm-12am. (Presents need to be delivered to us by the end of Saturday)
***
You may have noticed we launched a few new events last month, and I'm happy to say, they went fantasticically well, so will be returning as regular features in next year's event calendar: Number Six Vinyl DJ Sessions and The Mic Drop acoustic open mic for singers, musicians, rappers, storytellers and poets. Also being added to next year's calendar will be The Crow Lounge: a new event for chilled, seated gigs and a Jam Night.
We've been speaking with OSP Promotions and we will be bringing you even more Introducing showcases next year, plus Now That's What I Call Drag will be returning in the new year as well as The Candlelight Sessions, Castle Comedy & The Big Fat Quiz of The Crow. So next year is shaping up to be an absolute corker!
But before we get into next year's events, check out December's line up...
WED 03 DEC, 8PM: THE XMAS FILM QUIZ
Join us for our festive film quiz. No pre-booking needed, just rock up with all your Christmas Film knowledge! Teams of up to 6. £1pp. Rubbish prizes. Great fun. Outside food allowed. Dogs welcome. 18+
THURS 04 DEC, 8PM: OSP INTRODUCING
It's the last OSP gig of the year, featuring 3 killer bands: Kings Division, Utopia Development Corporation & Joy Disposal Unit. Entry £5 otd
FRI 05 DEC, 8.30PM: MYSPACE OR YOURS
00S KERANG POP-PUNK, EMO & SCREAMO ANTHEMS. THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC!!! TICKETS ARE SELLING FAST, SO DON'T MISS OUT!
(Tickets available from our website).
SAT 06 DEC 12-6PM: BYO VINYL
All genres welcome
Great decks & pa
No pre-booked slots
Just pop down and give your records a spin
SAT 06 DEC, 8.30PM: V8
They're back!!! Awesome hard rock anthems, mind-blowingly good! Free entry on a 1st come basis.
SUN 07 DEC, 6PM: TALKIN' LOUD
Fantastic 10 piece funk & RnB band will be ready to get your feet a bopping on the dancefloor! Tickets are just £5 adv (available from our website).
WED 10 DEC: CASTLE COMEDY XMAS SPECIAL
THUR 11 DEC: CANDLELIGHT SESSIONS FT ROBERT J HUNTER
FRI 12 DEC: THE INFORMERS (LIVE: PUNK | SKA | NEW WAVE | POWER POP)
SAT 13 DEC: SH*T SHIRT SATURDAY FT THATS WHAT SHE SAYS (POP PUNK & ROCKED UP POP)
SUN 14 DEC: AFTERNOON RAVE
WED 17 DEC: THE BIG FAT QUIZ OF THE CROW
THUR 18 DEC: THE CROW LOUNGE (DETAILS TBA)
FRI 19 DEC: THE ELASTIC CATS (90S & 00S ALT ROCK)
SAT 20TH DEC:
BYO VINYL 12-4PM
NUMBER SIX GROOVY VINYL DJ SET 4-8PM
LIVE MUSIC FROM THE ZEROES 9PM
SUN 21 DEC:
THE LOUNGE BUZZARDZ VINYL DJ SET 12-4PM
CHRISTMAS CAROLS & DIE HARD FROM 4:30PM
Actually, when you list the events like that, Christmas really doesn't seem that far away. Maybe I should be panicking....
Nah!!!!!
I'm sure 2026 I'll still be the same sarcastic, last-minute Max that I have been this year!
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