Hello Again, Facebook! (Someone Queue The Fireworks)!
- The Crow Crew
- 1 day ago
- 15 min read
Updated: 21 hours ago
What a couple of weeks it's been! A full-on, emotional whirlwind - and I'm now hanging onto sanity by a thread!
The last couple of weeks I have been up to my eyeballs dealing with new bank accounts, Parking Companies, Facebook Tech Support, Central Beds Council, Utility Companies, PRS and HMRC... Urgh!
Meta suspended our Facebook account at the end of March for an alleged "fraudulent post"; Ironically, our Instagram page from the same account is absolutely fine! After spending a lot of hours to finally speak to a human at Meta Tech Support, they reviewed our page and confirmed the suspension was an error.
Great, but THEN, we were in the ridiculous position of the page still being suspended, but having a pop-up that said:
"Your page has been suspended due to a breach of community standards."
Followed by:
"Your page has been Blue Badge Verified, as all of your posts meet our community standards."
Aargh!!!
After many more hours of speaking with Meta (who assured me the account will be reactivated at some point), I thought: Sod It! We had been meaning to tidy up our socials for ages, and waiting indefinitely was not an option (and as I'd rather tap-dance in a minefield wearing clown shoes than speak to Meta again), we have set up a new page!
So if you use Facebook, pop over and give us a Follow @CrookedCrowBar
The downside to setting up a new page is that our reach has drastically dropped. Whilst I'm sure it will soon grow, for now, we will be really reliant on you guys supporting and sharing our events. Not all heroes wear capes, some just love live music, events and beer!!!
I won't bore you with my other soulless call-centre battles, but the final straw was when, having verified my ID upon request, HMRC didn't recognise my picture as being female (whether they confused me with a man or a Highland Heifer was not disclosed), but as well as causing loads of paperwork, it didn't do wonders for my self-esteem!
Anyway, I've added my long list of 'other rants' below, but for now, let's move on to the fantastic events we have in the pipework...
POINTLESS FACT!!!
Eccentric, Victorian posh boy: John Lubbock was a banker, politician, scientist and chum of Charles Darwin, who dedicated his life to studying drunken ants, taming wasps and even tried to teach his poodle to read!
He may have been bonkers, but in 1871, he drafted the legislation that established bank holidays... So as we get ready for the long weekend, we raise a glass to John Lubbock - "Cheers, you crazy bug-loving, poodle whisperer!"
Whilst there's not much chance that the glorious weather we had last weekend is likely to stick around for long, we will still be making the most of the bank holiday weekend with Sunday's Sausage & Cider Fest!
What you need to know:
We'll be open 2 pm-9 pm
Tickets are just £8
Your ticket includes a food token - there will be hot-dogs (with gluten-free and vegan options available).
Food will be available on a 1st come basis and served until 5 pm.
There will be boxed ciders available, along with the usual range of drinks.
Entry is 16+; under-18s must be accompanied by an adult.
Sorry: No outside food or drink today, and no dogs (it will likely be too loud at times for pooches).
You can dip in and out if you'd like, just get a wristband from whoever is on the door and be aware that last entry is 7 pm.
OSP has arranged a fantastic line-up of vinyl DJs, acoustic artists and original bands - perfect for our first ever Bank Holiday Festival!!!
Now I would never be so bold as to declare a CCB band as my favourite - (I mean, it would be nearly impossible anyway when acts vary from tributes to acoustic, from ska to gypsy punk!) but, what I will say is that The Urban Voodoo Machine are a band I have had the pleasure in going to see in London many a time - and I absolutely LOVE THEM!!! Think: Evil New Orleans Circus, and you'd be kind of in the right ballpark for the genre of this band! Growling rootsy vocals, blues riffs, a gritty, European Folk vibe, with an entire medley of instruments and a mind-blowing stage show! Did I mention one of the drummers is green?!
London legends The Urban Voodoo Machine — led by the ever-flamboyant Norwegian-born singer, songwriter and guitar-slinger Paul-Ronney Angel — return to the road this spring, touring the UK in support of their new album Other People’s Children.
Since 2003, this superbly talented collective of musicians and showmen and women has been bringing their raucous, theatrical circus to the people, racking up thousands of shows and releasing several critically acclaimed albums along the way.
Uniquely, The Urban Voodoo Machine are the only band in the world to have played both Download Festival and the Montreux Jazz Festival, and they’ve toured with true legends including The Pogues and New York Dolls.
Described as “a great mix of Preservation Hall jazz, Eastern European folk and rock’n’roll” (R’N’R), the band’s own brand of Bourbon-Soaked Gypsy Blues Bop ’N’ Stroll has captivated audiences across the UK, US and Europe. Their fiercely loyal and ever-growing Black ’N’ Red-clad family is a testament to the power of the live show.
If you’ve seen The Urban Voodoo Machine live, chances are you haven’t forgotten it —
part circus, part theatre, and a great Rock'n'Roll Show!
“Quite possibly the best show you’ll ever see!” - CLASSIC ROCK
FRIDAY 01 MAY, 20:00
SUPPORT FROM A.D STRANIK
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This Wednesday we have the return of Castle Comedy Night and they have one hell of a line-up!
Lindsey Santoro (Live at the Apollo)
El Baldinho (Britain’s Got Talent)
Ryan Mold (Comedy Store on the Road)
Hosted by Paul Revill
Get ready for a night packed with big laughs, top-tier stand-up, and a brilliant atmosphere.
Less than 20 tickets left!
Don’t leave it too late – once they’re gone, they’re gone. Grab yours now and join us for a cracking night of comedy!
WEDNESDAY 29 APRIL, 19:00
INDOOR/SEATED GIG
Join us for The Mic Drop: our acoustic open mic night, with spoken word, rap, singing, poetry & acoustic performances.
Everyone is welcome to step up to the mic, whether it's to speak, sing or play the guitar, flute or lute!
Let's create some unplugged magic!
Things to know:
The event starts at 8pm
You can sign up to perform on the night
10 minute performance slots (plus an opportunity for an on-the-night collaborations), plus we will give performers opportunity to step back up if time allows
Acoustic guitar amp, vocal mic and stand provided by the venue (bring your own jack if you want to plug in)!
We don't cater for full bands or backing tracks (it is an acoustic open mic - & TBH, we aren't a backing track kind of venue)! But you are welcome to bring bass, Cajon drums or other instruments and we will do our best to accommodate. You are welcome to contact us THECROOKEDCROWBAR@GMAIL.COM if you have any queries.
Poems will be available to read on the night - or you are welcome to bring your own material or freestyle.
Free entry. 18+
Of course you don't have to perform to come down! The talent that steps up to the stage has been top tier, so come down, grab a beer and enjoy the show!
This Saturday we have the perfect pairing for a fantastic day in LB...
BYO Vinyl: 12-6pm
All genres welcome
Great decks & PA
No pre-booked slots, just pop down and give your records a spin!
Free entry. 16+ (under 18s should be accompanied by an adult). Pool table available to play. Great atmosphere/beer/coffee! Outside food allowed. Dogs welcome.
Live Music: 9pm
Desert Penguins will be live from 9pm tonight. Bringing you the biggest pop, rock and indie party songs, all with a pop-goes-rock twist! Covers from: The Killers, Katy Perry, Green Day, Blink-182, Jessie J, Taylor Swift, The Kaiser Chiefs, The Arctic Monkeys, Maroon 5, Jimmy Eat World & more. Free Entry. 18+
Next week is another belter - in fact, who are we kidding, May's line-up is absolutely brilliant!!! Most of our events are up on our website calendar until August this year, with more being added as we speak, so keep your eyes peeled!
Wednesday 06 May, 20:00: The Curtain Caw
This is our monthly Radio Play Workshop, where everyone is invited to join us to ride the FM waves!
What you need to know:
Free entry. 18+
Everyone is welcome, from seasoned performers to complete newbies!
8pm start.
Bring a smart phone or iPad/tablet to access the nights scripts via QR code.
Wear whatever you like & grab a seat - the great thing about radio is that no one will know!
We will be recording! Buzz Radio may be paying us a visit and could well be airing parts of our show!
The night is a mixed bag of reading through short scripts, performing scripts, creating great sound effects and playing fun improv games - all perfect for radio!
You don't have to perform! This is a really fun night and a great watch for anyone who wants to grab a beer and do so (although you may be asked to pipe-down during recording)!
THURS 07 MAY: CLOSED
As there is no scheduled event (OSP has been moved to Sun 03 May this month) we will be closed for the day to catch up with some much needed Zzzz's after the bank holiday chaos!
FRIDAY 08 MAY: LIVE LOUNGE LAUNCH
We have been hoping to create this event for some time now and we are SO excited to have such a fantastic line-up for our launch! After the success of our Candlelight Sessions, we realised that there was definitely a market for more chilled, intimate performances, where knock-out talent makes those unique, magical gigs. So we are launching The Live Lounge to host just that!! With a mix of table seating and standing room, great live music and fantastic vibes, we are hoping that these will be some of the best nights in town. To launch the event we have two brilliant bands: Jet Lag Jeff and Sweetcornbread, delivering rootsy, foot-stompingly good, swampy blues! Tickets are just £5!
Talking of The Candlelight Sessions, don't forget to grab your tickets for the amazing Eddy Smith who will be performing on Thurs 14 May. Deals on wine, Jugs of Pimm's and cheeseboards available at the bar. Tickets available from our website:
SATURDAY 09 MAY, 9PM: HIGH POINT PLAYERS
It's been a while, but finally.... THEY'RE BACK!!! Phenomenal vocals, high octane band, eclectic set list... This band are guaranteed to blow your mind, so dust off your dancing shoes and get here early to ensure you get in!!! Free entry. 18+
SUNDAY 10 MAY 12-4PM: VINYL SESSIONS
It's The Afternoon Rave! DJ Wout will be spinning the finest retro beats, the perfect soundtrack for an afternoon in the Buzz'! Free Entry. 16+
WEDNESDAY 13 MAY, 20:00: THE BIG FAT QUIZ OF THE CROW
Daft rounds. Rubbish prizes. Teams of up to 6ppl. £1pp. 18+
Outside food allowed (Domino's is next door). Dogs welcome - although they're unlikely to be much help to your team! No pre-booking needed, just pop down before 8pm to enter.
DATES FOR YOUR DIARIES:
Friday 29 May: Not Quite Dead Yet -
Festival legends, NQDY return after a bonkers, knock out show at The CCB last year. It promises to be utter uke carnage!!!
Folk lovers, punk lovers, folk-punk lovers.... Don't miss out!
Tickets are now on sale from our website!
CROW FEST #26
After the success of our 1st ever 3 day, grassroots festival last year, we are doing it all again!
We are teaming up with OSP Promotions to bring you the absolute best bands on the original circuit. AUGUST 14, 15, 16... SAVE THE DATE!!!
THE BLUETONES ACOUSTIC: SUN 31 MAY, 6:30PM
NEARLY SOLD OUT!!! ACT FAST!!!
And now back to my ranting!
WARNING: Anyone who doesn't approve of foul language or moody middle-aged venue owners sharing their mental breakdowns, stop reading now!
THE GIG-WHORE-MOAN DIARIES:
I have been ridiculously tired lately and I'm starting to annoy myself with how cranky it's making me. Although I wonder if, faced with the same recent situations, even a sane, placid, cheery-type person might have snapped, set fire to their Live Love Laugh mural and gone on a bloodthirsty rampage armed with a toasting fork.
April was always likely to be a testing month. The big bills were all due at the end of March and, as you know from my last epic overshare, we needed a few bumper weeks to fill the coffers after the January dip and February duck-out. I think, on the whole, we achieved it, but perhaps due to a combination of Storm Dave, grey skies, and the knowledge that the Tango'd-Tyrants' latest tantrum will likely result in more price hikes, there were a few nights where we (and in fact, the whole town) seemed eerily quiet.
The events trade is always going to be a bit volatile. I could argue that nights out and shared experiences, grassroots events, live music and even beer are absolute essentials in a healthy, non-anx'-ridden society, but the brutal truth is that entertainment is likely to take a bit of a kicking when the other (perhaps more pressing) essentials are feeling the squeeze. And there are other factors that impact our trade as well: other gigs/festivals, the weather, people not wanting to go out when it's cold and raining, losing people to beer gardens, picnics and BBQs when it's hot, holidays, sports tournaments, blah, blah, blah... It's just the nature of the beast, and the only thing we can do is crack on, offer the most fantastic events possible, and pray to the Music Gods that the good nights far outweigh the bad (which luckily, they do)!
Whilst dealing with the general public has felt like a breeze compared with my couple of weeks spent in corporate call-centre perdition, it seemed the universe, in its quirky way, had recognised my struggles and decided to put people in my path to politely force their opinions on me...
The "You know what you should do is..." brigade has been out in force, and whilst I've managed to shrug off most comments, eventually somebody is going to fall foul of a response-rant with 6 years' worth of pent-up fury! So here's a handy guide to keep you safe:
1. We are NOT a rock pub.
A rock pub tends to specialise in rock music and be 'a pub'!
Don't get me wrong, I like rock music! I like ska music, punk music, disco music, indie music, 80s hip hop music (admittedly, mainly after a few bevvies), old-school rhythm & blues music... In fact, you're as likely to hear Frank Turner or Prince Buster playing at our venue as you are to hear Metallica or SOAD. And we're not a pub - look at the place - no fire, no wooden beams, a great big sound system, big stage and a lighting rig you could land a jumbo jet with... Again, I like pubs! But it doesn't change the fact we are not one. Our mission for The Crooked Crow Bar, was to create a 'Camden-vibe' alternative bar and grassroots venue in Leighton Buzzard to host live music and events - whilst I appreciate I am biased, I think we met the brief. So turning up to a disco/reggae/folk/RnB [take your pick] night, smiling patronisingly at me while your sparkly stilettos bugger my wooden floor, saying "tonight's music must be a nice change from all that rock" will set off an internal rage eventually I will be unable to suppress with fake smiles and milk of magnesia. Beware!
2. Our busy nights tend to have 100+ attendees.
So popping down for an afternoon DJ set where there's 20 or so people bustling and having a nice time saying "it must be so lovely to be so busy for a change" is not going to bring out my best.
Just behave yourself Barry. Last night it was wall-to-wall pissheads bopping to alt 80s classics in here. Just because you tend to go home by 3pm to sleep off your 4 pints of IPA, having bored the baps off anyone that'll listen about some gig you attended in 1992, doesn't mean the rest of the world doesn't still appreciate live music.
3. We know our venue - we work here!
We've had a few instances - mostly from men with what I like to call: correctile dysfunction - where people have pointed out things like our venue isn't the best layout for acoustics, or that some of our tech is not the latest edition, blah blah blah. These people always look like they are waiting for me to award them a medal for noticing! Of course our tech is not the latest! We are a grassroots venue! What GMV has the latest tech?! What GMV has the perfect layout? We have run 100s if not 1000s of gigs over the last 6 years, we create a great sound and we are fully aware of the limitations of the room, but thank you random stranger who has spent too many hours googling their home sound system, rather than support the industry they profess to be such an expert in. Whatever would we do without you?!!!
4. The Bar Staff Are Human Too!
I quite enjoy working behind the bar, though admittedly, I'm not the best at it! But I can absolutely confirm that I get treated differently to when I am out on the floor and people chat with me about the business &/or events (albeit I was confused with a bouncer last weekend when some idiot asked why I wasn't opening the door for him to go outside! - I had to point out if he was too drunk to work a door it was time for him to bugger off)! Behind the bar, if I comment about the running of the venue, or booking or promoting of events I'm often (as I've bitched about before) just dismissed as some over-reaching Porky Peggy Mitchel!
It makes me wonder if it's a gender thing (my colleagues that have penises certainly aren't patronised quite us much) or maybe a class thing, after all, I am blessed with the charm and eloquence of a potty-mouthed cockney bricklayer! Or perhaps it is a bar-staff thing? There seems to be a misconception that bar staff are paid to be chirpy and chatty and everyone's friend at the bar - when the reality is that they are paid to serve beer and just be themselves. We recently received a 1-star Google review from a lady who had apparently been in a few times over the years, but "will not tolerate" our bar staff, whose rudeness ruined her night. I refrained from replying to suggest she found better friends. The 1/5 additional rating because we were too loud, despite her coming to watch a live band, was somewhat telling! I don't actually mind her review, or that we aren't her cup of tea, or that (seeing that having a grumpy member of the bar crew pour her drink was enough to ruin her evening) she chooses not to return. That's kind of the whole point: we are not for everyone. If it's busy and loud and the bar staff are a bit short with you, so be it - as long as you get your beer in good time. Likewise, if you're a pain in the whoopsie at the bar and the bar staff tell you to sod off - they do it with my blessing!
5. BUY A DRINK!
Believe it or not, the amount of people that we have coming to events that don't buy so much as a packet of crisps at the bar has definitely risen. Surprisingly the worst culprits seem to be in the 50+ age bracket! Whilst we ticket a lot of our events, the cost of running the event (and venue in general) is always subsidised by the bar take. Soft drink purchases are fine, but a purchase is kind of expected... needed if we are to survive! Obviously, you don't have to have a glass in hand at every point of the evening and if you're with a group of drinkers and you fancy a glass of tap water, no one is going to ask you to leave - but I do think attending an event without putting money over the bar is the equivalent of popping into the local curry house on a busy evening to just read a book... not acceptable!
6. My final piece of advice for anyone not wanting to risk their eardrums exploding after one of my epic rants is DON'T ARGUE!
People drink, and when drunk, people don't always make the best decisions. I'm pretty okay with that. And on occasions people need to be made aware of our rules - that's completely fine! It's the arguing that makes me so angry I want to write a strongly worded email and CC in their mum! For example: We try and keep a walkway at the front of the stage. It's fine that people might not know this and be told throughout the evening, but to argue the toss on why we need to have a walkway (which is fairly common sense as it runs from the entrance to the bar and toilets, in front of the very expensive monitors and pedal boards that could get damaged by spillage) is just going to make me cross with you - and eventually I ask people who make me cross to go home! That's just one example and over the course of each months events, there will be loads! One man a few weeks ago, turned up outside smoking a huge spliff and when I told him he couldn't smoke it outside our venue, argued asking me where he could smoke it, so I offered to call the police to ask them! Strangely he didn't stick around to wait for their answer.
The last whinge I have to get off my chest is not actually about The Crooked Crow Bar at all. It's all the ghastly AI posters that seem to be clogging up my social media feeds. They honestly look awful (I have created one of me with a pint, as proof)! It's fantastic that so many places are now offering live music and events - after all, you can't make a scene with just one venue - but PLEASE Dear God, enough with the cartoon, sepia shite artwork already!!!
See... I told you I was cranky!!!
Obviously, the knowledge that I am now at the age where my hormones may be in the driving seat of my mood is just adding to the crankiness (I'm already down to my last few nerves; I could do without perimenopause threatening to dry hump the ones that are left).
Whinging aside, I do actually love my job... Well, most of it at least! It's long hours. It's hard work (when I'm not just chatting rubbish at the bar or staring into space)! It's terrible pay! But we have created a fantastic live music venue, an alternative bar. We are proudly neuro-spicy, and provide a safe space for our fellow freaks and freakesses. A hub for all ages, communities, and backgrounds. People who have been wound far too tight from working all week can leave their normality at the door and succumb to the utter joy of live music and shared connection. We aren't everyone's cup of tea, but fk 'em, I drink coffee anyway! Besides we never intended to appeal to everyone. It's loud. It's sensory overload. It's no nonsense... And I bloody love it - so while your opinions and suggestions have been noted, I think we are pretty alright as we are!
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