Lord Almighty, I Feel My Temperature Risin', Mmm...
- The Crow Crew
- 2 hours ago
- 6 min read
Yes Elvis, me too!
I know, I know... Moaning about the weather is tedious. After 11 months of Winter, you'd think we'd welcome some sunshine... But this is ridiculous! It's like we leapt from grey drizzle, straight into Satan's butt cheeks, without even the chance to put our woollies back in the wardrobe!
Those gloriously bronzed youths that seem to be wandering the streets carrying footballs and the "Isn't it marvellous - it's cheaper than a holiday?!" brigade, can frankly bugger off. I was probably one of them once, not affected by the heat, prancing about in my summer clothes, without looking like a beached beluga in a clown wig and a kimono. I suppose they should be allowed to make the most of it, as one day they'll be embracing summer mornings by peeling their boobs from adjacent corners of their sweat-saturated bedsheets like the rest of us!
Yesterday the temperature reached 34 degrees, with the 'feels like' temperature being much higher. The Crow's air conditioning has been a lifesaver, even if the immense humidity creates a little indoor rain from condensation! Honestly, in this heat, indoor drizzle is quite refreshing - albeit, hosting events with a splash zone seems absolutely bonkers!
When the 1st batch of this heat hit us back at the end of May, I wrote a little poem about it, which still feels pretty relevant...
An Ode To The British Summer...
The sunshine brings with it some much needed vitamin D,
Brighter clothes, summer shoes and a longing to be by the sea.
Reggae tunes, alfresco beer and a hankering for Mr Whippy,
No need to take a cardigan cos even the evenings aren't that nippy.
The UK's awoken from hibernation, our 2 week summer is here,
What better way to celebrate than bucket hats, heat stroke and beer.
Supermarkets pumping aircon as the masses panic-buy sausages and baps,
Pensioners don't clog the tills, as the journey would make them collapse.
Kids abandon the streets for paddling pools, and teenagers are too hot for drama's,
Even the really chavvy ones realise it's not the weather for balaclavas.
Finally we can turn off the central heating as our homes become volcanic,
And the temperature of our upstairs rooms now match the arse cheeks of a mechanic.
Sleepless nights with windows open, but no breeze can be felt,
And the sound of your neighbours shagging tortures you as you melt.
Seeing friends you'd usually hug, but contact would make your clothes stick to your sweat,
Thank God for dark glasses so you can pretend you've never met.
Floaty summer dresses, cool linen shirts & shorts,
None of which were designed to suit a sweaty bitch with norks.
As the rest of the country bronzes, you turn red and peel,
Like a Squashies drumstick that has been dropped in cat fur and oatmeal.
Your head of thick wavy curls rebelliously grow towards the sun,
An orb of tangled frizz, like a Highland Heifers bum.
Wishing you'd re-gassed your aircon as you drive your 4 wheeled sauna on errands,
Realising those smiling, smug convertible drivers are all utter bellends
Those glorious first few days of basking in the heat,
Seem long forgotten as you peel your sticky carcass from a leather seat.
It'll only last a couple of weeks and it'll be back to drizzle and grey,
And we'll go back to moaning the weathers shit and wishing for more sunny days.
_________
Anyway, that's enough moaning about the weather. Obviously, it goes without saying that until the temperature drops below 30 degrees, I really advise against hugging me as I will be a sweaty, disgusting mess and, (as a quick public safety announcement) DEAR GOD, DON'T BE A DICK.... In this heat, I don't trust myself not to resort to obscene profanities or gratuitous violence!!!
Right...
You may have heard the rumours that there's a big kicky ball tournament taking place in America. As you may know, I'm not a big fan of televised sports... However, I realise that I may be in the minority! So, after chatting with the staff and bands (& checking the legalities), I have conceded, and we have decided to screen the England football match this Saturday night.
We still have a band booked in... The fantastic indie/alt rock covers band, The Elastic Cats.
So here's the plan:
BYO Vinyl will finish at the slightly earlier time of 5pm (still starting at 12, as normal).
From 6:30pm we will be open for ticket holders only
Elastic Cats will be live from 7pm.
Loaded nachos will be available for advanced ticket holders to help themselves to from 9:30 (with vegan and gluten free options available).
Then we will screen the England vs Panama game at 10pm.
Tickets are free and include entry to both the gig and football, plus food. Please buy your tickets in advance for us to ensure we have enough food available!
Note, last entry is 8:30pm. 18+ (no dogs - it will be too loud)!
We have a pretty jam-packed week lined up. In fact, we have a pretty jam-packed summer lined up!!! So buckle up... It's gonna be one hell of a ride!!!!
EVERYWHERE AT ONCE: The UK's biggest ever grassroots music festival
Powered by the National Lottery, more than 400 venues will come together as one collective stage, hosting over 1,000 gigs in towns and cities on your doorstep, right across the UK.
Support your local grassroots music venue this June!!!
FRIDAY 26TH JUNE
The Crooked Crow Bar, Leighton Buzzard
20.30
£8 ADV (TIX: www.crookedcrowbar.com)
-Audionasties-
Audionasties are a 4 piece Alternative band from Leighton Buzzard with influences from Punk and Experimental. Inspirations include Sonic Youth, the Buzzcocks and At the Drive In; think Dolly Parton and Crass had a baby in space.
-The Reserves-
The bastardised offspring of the Clash, Replacements, Greenday and the Wildhearts, The Reserves are nice boys who play Rock n Roll!!! Armed with catchy riffs and punk attitude, expect a high octane, energetic punk rock n roll show
Hail, Hail Rock n Roll!!
Thurs 25 June 7:30pm: THE MIC DROP
Join us as we crank up the aircon ready for The Mic Drop: our acoustic open mic night, hosted by Jet Lag Jeff
Calling all singers, poets, musicians, storytellers, & rappers.
Everyone is welcome to step up to the mic, whether it's to speak, sing or play the guitar, flute or lute!
Things to know:
Sign up to perform on the night (from 7:30pm)
10 minute performance slots (we will give acts the opportunity to step back up if time allows)
Acoustic guitar amp, vocal mic and stand provided by the venue (bring your own jack if you want to plug in)!
We don't cater for full bands or backing tracks (it is an acoustic open mic)! But you are welcome to bring bass, Cajon drums or other instruments and we will do our best to accommodate.
Poems are available to read from our library - or you can bring your own material or freestyle.
Free entry. 18+
Of course you don't have to perform to come down, cool off, grab a beer and enjoy the show!
Sun 28 June 12-4pm: Ska From The Bar
DJs Double Deckers will be spinning the finest ska, mod, soul and punk vinyl classics, perfect for cooling off in the air con on a lush sunny Sunday. Free entry. Outside food allowed. Dogs welcome. 16+
Sunday 5th July, 5:30pm
Gazza Records Presents: An Audience With Rusty Egan
Rusty Egan is one of the most iconic and influential figures in the electronic music industry. His career began in the music industry as a runner at DJM studios, followed by a stint at WEA Records. Rusty collaborated with former Sex Pistols member Glen Matlock, alongside Steve New and Midge Ure, to establish the new wave band Rich Kids. Their debut album, Ghosts of Princes in Towers, released in 1978, achieved both critical acclaim and commercial success. During the Rich Kids tours, Rusty met Steve Strange. This encounter led to Rusty's concept for a club night at Billy's, a Soho venue, catering to fashionable punks and showcasing the music they were passionate about. In 1979, they moved their club night to the Blitz in Covent Garden. As the resident DJ at the Blitz, Rusty played a pivotal role in introducing British, German, and Japanese electronica to the British club scene, essentially curating the soundtrack for the burgeoning New Romantic movement.
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